The Wedding Guide

Q&A

Q: Aren’t wedding consultants mainly for rich people?

A: Not really – a consultant can’t create a wedding out of thin air, but her specialties include stretching a budge and hooking you up with caterers or florist who do the best work in your price range. Ask for a cost estimate up front.

Q: When should I start shopping for my wedding cake?                                                                                      

A: Answers range from 4 to 12 months. Many specialized wedding cake designers limit the number of wedding cakes they do and can have some of the more popular wedding dates booked as much as 12 months in advance. You should call and inquire about your date's availability then request a consultant to see the designer's personal work and discuss ideas, budget and flavors. You can select your cake designer long before you select a cake design and should choose your gown style and reception decor as soon as possible as this will help to guide you with the cake design.

Q: How can I make sure my anniversary tier is tasty a year later?

A: Remove your cake ornament or other non-edible decorations. Place the cake in the freezer for 3-4 hours to firm the icing. Then wrap tightly with plastic wrap or large plastic freezer bags, double or even triple bag the cake. Remove as much air as possible with either a vacuum sealer or a straw, sucking all of the air out- air is the bad guy! Now place the cake in the smallest bakery box possible then tape all of the seams and open folds. Wrap the box with plastic wrap then with heavy-duty foil using a fold down method for maximum protection from frost. Place in the freezer. Set out to defrost the morning of and do no remove wrapping until thawed. It is NOT recommended to have a custard or fruit filling in this tier because they tend to start breaking down and will affect the taste of your cake.

Q: Are there any rules about tipping the wedding planner? Ours has just been outstanding and I feel like we should give her something extra.

A: Though there is not a general rule for tipping wedding planners, if you feel yours has gone the extra mile there’s no reason why you can't do something to recognize that. After all, that's what a tip is -- a way of acknowledging excellent service. Extra cash is always appreciated, but if you hired your coordinator for full-service help (i.e., planning the entire wedding, top to bottom), it might not be feasible for you to tip a percentage of the bill as you might otherwise. Instead, think of other ways you could thank her for her hard work. You could get her a lavish gift certificate for spa services or to a nice restaurant, or send flowers. No matter what type of tip you choose (monetary or otherwise) include a note expressing your gratitude -- she'll surely appreciate it.

Q: How do we let our guests know that we'd really like money in place of gifts? We want to be able to pay off the wedding costs.

A: This is a tough one. You absolutely should not put this information in writing on shower invitations the way you might with registry information (never on the wedding invitation, though). People often ask the couple's parents what they would like or where they are registered, so you can ask your parents to drop the hint if they consider it appropriate. Don't make the mistake of not registering in the hopes of your guests just giving you cash instead: Many times they will simply buy you something anyway, and without the guidance of a registry you risk receiving items you already own or might never use.

Q: I work long hours and would like to hire a wedding planner, but my fiancé doesn’t think it’s necessary. Help!

A: Find out why he feels this way. Unlike many a bride who has been dreaming about her big day since she was a little girl, it's possible that your fiancé hasn't given much thought to what's involved in planning a wedding. Showing him your to-do list might be all that's needed to turn him around. Or he may even surprise you with his eagerness to roll up his sleeves and pitch in—taking a significant portion of the planning burden off you. If money is his primary concern, let him know that wedding planners can be as hands-on or -off as you decide. Limiting their role to even a few key tasks, rather than having them involved in every step of the preparation, will greatly save your sanity without busting your budget.

Q: What are save-the-date cards and when do I need them?

A: These cards, sent in advance of the wedding invitations so guests can put your wedding on their calendars, have become the norm and for good reason. Guests' busy schedules are likely to fill your wedding date with other plans if you don’t get the word out right away, but you should not send invitations themselves until about four to six weeks before the wedding. If you are getting married over a long holiday weekend or are having a destination wedding, send out save-the-date cards as soon as you have a definite date selected, which usually means that your ceremony and reception sites are booked; otherwise five or six months prior to the wedding is customary. You will also need to have a guest list composed. The cards themselves can be as simple as postcards printed with the news and date that you are getting married and that the recipient will be invited. Some couples get creative, sending out fridge magnets or books of notepaper with their info printed on them.